I Survived

Living in uncertain times is something this generation has never experienced. Beginning in November 2019, an unseen danger entered into our view. The Covid-19, a deadly virus, as reported in the news was taking China by storm. The hospitals were crowded. Doctors were confused, and people were dying. The threat seemed far away. It wasn’t something that needed my attention. I would pray for those in need, but that’s all. However, that threat became reality when I contracted the Coronavirus.

What started as a faraway problem, now sits at our doorsteps. More directly, it hit me. The alarm rang out to steal me away from my slumber as it does most every morning. I went about the normal routine. Getting ready for work, packing lunches, and fixing breakfast, when I realized that I wasn’t feeling tip top by any means. I was sitting at the breakfast bar when I announced, “My lungs hurt.” My dear, sweet husband declared that I needed to go directly to the doctors, to which I replied, “I have no symptoms for them to check. I will just wait and see where this goes.” Famous last words as it were. We hurried on our way to begin our day at work. Unfortunately, I continued to feel quite poorly.

The next morning I took my husband to work and went straight to the urgent care. I was the second in line. I was asked to put on a mask, because it was just the beginning of the fears and uncertainty of the Coronavirus. The nurse who took me back to the exam room was wearing a mask. The doctor walked in the room and he was wearing a mask too. I started to feel a little uneasy at the whole situation, but I was here and I needed some answers. After the exam, the doctor said it was just the flu. I needed to just rest. I thought to myself, I can handle this. However, I had no idea what the days ahead would hold for me.

Days passed and I didn’t have much clarity on any of them. My time was spent sleeping, taking medicine and doing my breathing treatments. And I must say that I am ever so glad for my nebulizer. It has been a Godsend.  I should have started feeling better, but I wasn’t. It began to be harder to breathe. My lungs ached ever so much. And a strange feeling that has absolutely nothing to do with the flu, I was dizzy and lightheaded. So much so that thinking clearly was difficult. I mixed up words and couldn’t comprehend what my family was saying. I just laughed it off, but secretly, very concerned.

The world situation, even the US situation had become even more dire. It was now a pandemic. Workplaces shut down, people hoarding paper products and fear gripped the world stage. The stock exchange plummeted, the fear started small, but is increasingly grew by leaps and bounds. It’s hard to remain calm when the enemy is unseen.

Still I battled with this (sickness) so I felt I need to go back to the doctors. Well, let me just say, it was an obstacle course just to get in to see the doctor. On Sunday night, I made a doctor’s appointment for 8o’clock the next morning. I told my husband and he agreed that it would be good to see what was happening. He dropped me off at the door and stayed in the car (protecting him). I got up to the office and was handed a paper and asked to go back to my car and call the number on the white page. So I returned to the car and explained the situation to my husband. He was confused, but I called anyways. After dialing the number it took 30 minutes to get through. The lady that finally answered the call asked me a series of questions and said to go home and wait the nurses call. I told her I had an appointment at 8o’clock, but she said go home and wait. So we went home, confused with no answers only more questions.

Finally, at 9:40am the nurse called and said I could go see my doctor at 10:00 am. She also told me to take a wash cloth to cover my face to go back into the office. When I arrived my doctors nurse asked why I had a wash cloth. She was frustrated and gave me a regular mask to wear. Once, I finally made my way back into the inner office, I looked around and everyone had masks on. It made the situation look and feel so surreal.

My doctor finally came in with her face shrouded in a mask. She acknowledged my lung difficulties and said she wanted an x-ray. She said I had a mild case of Corona, but there just isn’t anything to give me. She did however give me a list of things I should not be taking. So the ibuprofen and steroids are put away for now. All I wanted was to feel better. I asked about being tested for the virus, and she said that the only way people were being tested was by going to the emergency room. The last thing I wanted to do was go to the hospital.

On day seven I was still struggling through each day trying to breathe. Yet, I realize that I must try to push on. On Saturday night, I wanted to walk to the mail room with my husband. Afterall, the flu-type feelings had subsided. I figured it was time to stretch my lungs, so off I went. Bad! Wrong! Not a good idea at all! By the time we got back up to the apartment I was gasping for air. I was so lightheaded, I was about to pass out. I went straight to my nebulizer for a treatment.

The world around me was writhing in pain. Jobs were being lost. People running scared. People are sick and there really isn’t any answers right now. That’s the way it is with something new. There’s more questions than answers and we are a family of humans that want all the answers – now. All we can do is follow the instruction of the medical field and wait. Such a wonderful thing – we love to wait – not really!

I must say it did my heart good to see many positive things happening all over the world. It almost seems that this tragedy is doing what it always does – brings people together. I realize there is a 6 foot distance thing happening, but people are stepping up and caring for their fellowman or woman. Families are spending time with one another. Facetime, games, cooking together is happening, because we are stuck inside our homes. But is that all bad? Of course it isn’t. Perhaps once this horrible shock to our lives is over, it will help us to reevaluate what is truly important.  Sadly, I venture to speculate that it will for a short time, but the hustle and bustle of 2020 will return and we will forget. We seem to always forget the important things in the name of success.

On the thirteenth and fourteenth day of the virus, I contracted pneumonia, which meant I needed an antibiotic. I felt like I have literally lost two weeks of my life. The next few days was painful in the breathing department, but I made it through. Strangely enough, as quickly as the virus hit me, it left the same way. I was weak, but able to breathe. I survived. The only lasting thing I struggle with is lack of taste and a little foggy in the brain.

Uncertainty is a demon that we don’t fight very well. We are a people that depends on instant fixes. However, this global pandemic has effected every area of our lives. It is up to us to make good of the opportunities we have been given.

That is exactly what I did. I cleaned cabinets out, wiped down woodwork, baked delicious treats, and Face Timed my grandchildren.  What lies ahead is uncertain. The thing I plan on doing is making the most of each and every day. Let’s face these dark days with knowledge that it will come to an end and life will return to some kind of normalness. God never takes to a place without knowing the path He has planned.